


In love with a clown

by ValentineRunaway



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst, Deadpool 2 - Freeform, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, NSFW, Supportive Colossus, Vanessa is ded like me, Wade is suicidal and Colossus is trying to help him, cowboy riding if u know what i mean, i am in hell, my fourth fanfic of this ship, other mutants in the background go find them, spoilers to deadpool 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-19 03:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14865939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValentineRunaway/pseuds/ValentineRunaway
Summary: SPOILERS TO DEADPOOL 2, read at your own risk. End credits scene never happened.Colossus has been in love with Deadpool for a very long time. Now that Vanessa is gone, he wonders if he could finally try to confess his feelings to Wade. But Colossus is afraid that Wade will only use him as a replacement for Vanessa and he wants more than senseless fucking to help someone get over their ex.Requested fanfic idea by Zzena1993. A little bit similar to the story line of "Don't fuck Colossus", but this time it's more on Colossus's view.





	1. мой друг

**Author's Note:**

> Deadpool is depressed and suicidal and wants to isolate himself from everyone he knows. Colossus doesn't let him and gives him what he needs. Friendship.

Colossus has known Deadpool for years now and even after all the times he has let him down, he still refused to stop believing in Wade. Deep down, Colossus knew that Wade Wilson had a good heart that just needed time to grow. Sadly, Wade didn't seem to believe in good, not in him at least. 

After Vanessa had passed away, Wade Wilson had become more depressed. Before the horrible incident, Colossus had noticed that the man made alarming jokes about wanting to die and feeling ugly, but now he was even more concerned for Wade's mental and physical health. For example, Wade refused to take care of himself. He didn't shower, he didn't eat and he didn't go outside. Most of his time he was drinking in Weasel's bar, urinating on himself and saying it was all his fault. Wade didn't see any reason to keep living, even if he had family and friends by his side. He always said he didn't have a home anymore. His apartment was still being fixed and even if Colossus offered him a home, Wade didn't want to go to the X-mansion. Colossus always had to drag him there and take care of him, but Wade always ran away. 

Wade Wilson was also suicidal, more than ever before. After Wade had tried to commit suicide in his apartment by blowing the whole place up, Colossus had been there for him, waiting for his body to grow back and then dressing him. After that incident, there were more moments when Wade was trying to die somehow. He jumped off the roof, jumped in front of a car, shot himself, took an overdose of Fruit Loops ... Nothing ever worked on him, thanks to his healing powers. 

The way Wade talked about himself was harsh and cold. He said he didn't deserve to live, that he was ugly as hell and that life was pointless without Vanessa. Without love. For months, his condition didn't improve, even if he made jokes to hide his pain.

But Colossus refused to give up. He believed in Wade. He believed he could become an X-man, a hero, if he just had the right kind of support.

 

 

 

_4 months after Vanessa's death_

 

 

 

Wade Wilson is still unable to return his apartment and try to continue his life like a normal person. How hard is it to fix an apartment that is so small only some cheap college students would live there? Wade was becoming impatient, but luckily he had heard that it would only take two more weeks until he could return there. Fucking finally.

Surprisingly, Wade is in the mansion, trying to hide from all the students and other mutants that were hidden there from the cruel hateful world. He hated sleeping on the sofa, locked in some living room with white pedophile paintings staring at him during the night. Wade hated that he wasn't even allowed to make a mess, or else Colossus would start yelling at him. But just for him, and because he wasn't allowed to have anything, Wade kept things clean and hid from the world, trying to pretend that he wasn't even there.

 

 

Colossus walks along the long quiet corridor, clenching his fists tightly together. He feels nervous. His heart is thumping loudly and he swears he has butterflies in his stomach. He can't really understand why. Talking to someone like Wade who always joked, no matter the situation, shouldn't be this hard.

Colossus had taken a mattress into his room and made a bed for Wade. He first did it just to show he truly cared for Wade, but suddenly he felt embarrassed, even flustered. Colossus stops in the middle of the hallway and takes a deep breath.

He has been trying to deny it or even get over it, but he is madly, crazily in love. And he is in love with Wade. Wade fucking Wilson, the man who is always causing trouble and is never trustworthy. He is also a murderer, something Colossus is completely against! But Colossus could not help it. He found Wade beautiful to look at, and some of his references and jokes were funny. And with Wade, Colossus could sometimes relax a little and not be so strict with rules. He shook his head, trying to ignore those feelings. Colossus had no idea how he was in love with Wade, but there he was. Love worked in mysterious ways.

Someone walks past him and complains about him blocking the way. It's Domino, who doesn't really live in the mansion but who often comes by to see other mutant kids. "Sorry", Colossus mutters out and moves closer to the wall.

"Good luck", Domino tells him and continues walking, without really explaining the meaning of her words. Without asking questions, Colossus kept walking, telling himself that it would be okay. Now that Wade was single again and it had been already four months after the murder, maybe Colossus could make a move on him. He felt horrible for thinking like that and decided to once again push his feelings away.

Colossus enters the living room Deadpool now lives in and he walks over to the sofa chair Wade is sitting on. He is listening to Madonna from a tiny mp3, humming along the song. Colossus moves to stand next to the sofa and just looks down at Wade. His feet are on the table.

"Put your feet down", Colossus says almost coldly. He didn't know how to talk to Wade without always ordering him around. Wade shakes his head and imitates the man in a baby voice. Colossus folds his hands over his chest and squints at the burn victim.

"Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep", Wade sings along the song and wiggles his toes around. He is wearing bright pink socks with white stripes on them. Colossus takes a hold of his ankles and lifts his legs up. He moves them over to the couch and drops them down onto it. Wade makes a surprised 'oof' sound.

"And I was sure you would open my little legs wide open and scissor me like a fine lady", Wade says and he smiles, taking the earbuds out of his ears. Wade throws the earbuds somewhere, aiming it towards a chair but they flies over it and crash against the wall. Colossus shakes his head, and Wade apologizes and moves the small mp3 safely into his pocket.. Wade holds his hands together and lays them over his stomach, tilting his head to the side and stared at the giant metal man. "What can I do for ya?" he asks like he is some kind of a therapist.

Colossus takes a deep breath. "I made a bed for you", he simply says, unable to say much else.

"What?"

Colossus swallows. "In my room. I made a bed for you, so you don't have to stay here anymore."

Colossus felt guilty for making Wade just sleep in some living room, when he could have offered his own large room to be used. He even has his own bathroom. Colossus wonders if Wade has been even brushing his teeth. He feels like shit for his own strict way of acting, but right now he is trying to make up for it.

 

Wade Wilson looks surprised. He looks around, a little confused. "Okayyy", he says slowly and looks down at his mp3. He brings it close to his mouth and whispers : "Madonna, help me."

Colossus rubs his forehead for a moment. "Wade, I do not want to be your roommate either, but this is what friends do. They help each other", he explains and puts his hands on his hips, standing straight in front of the cold-blooded assassin. Colossus just lied. He truly wanted to sleep in the same room with Wade, even if it would be a pain in the ass. He had wanted to sleep in the same room with him since the day he had to move in here.

"Funny that you're offering me an actual bedroom to sleep in AFTER I've been sleeping in this fucking room for, what, four months? It smells like dirty socks in here" Wade comments and Colossus is unable to answer to that.

"It almost seems like you've been building a sex dungeon of some sort and want me to join now", he jokes.

"Wade..."

"No worries, I like playrooms. Chains, whips, Xbox and stuff... Tell me you colored the whole place red and black, like my suit", Wade says and he kicks his feet back on top of the table. Colossus grabs them again and moves them onto the floor this time. 

"Wade, I do this as your friend", Colossus says strictly. Hearing the word 'friend' makes something in Wade boil and he stands up quickly.

"Okay, Silver Balls. If you were my friend, you would stop pretending to pity for me and find me one of those awesome power-taking collars so I can finally end this shit storm I call life", he says loudly, poking Colossus on his chest. Colossus opens his eyes wide open and his face goes pale. His heart almost breaks when he hears those words. Wade moves his index finger and thumb up, moving his hand into a gun and he opens his mouth, points his finger gun inside and pretends to shoot his brains out.

"Wade, I wish to help you. You are not well", Colossus says slowly with a calm tone in his voice, but Wade just shakes his head and chuckles.

"Help me? Why do you wanna help me, huh? What makes Ultron care so much for Freddy Krueger with a unicorn fetish?" he asks. Colossus says nothing and he lowers his arms to his sides. "Yeah, that's right. I don't need any help", Wade mutters and he turns around, heading towards the door. Colossus grabs him by the hand.

"Wade, you are my friend, and -"

"If I were your friend, you wouldn't be so damn embarrassed about me. Always hiding me from others, always ashamed of me. That's not what friends do. I don't need your pity party if it doesn't even have a chocolate cake", Wade yells out and he slaps the metal man's hand away. Colossus can feel his heart shatter into pieces. Deep inside he knows he should have done better, but he also knows Wade is being selfish. But he is trying to understand - Wade Wilson is in a bad place right now and he is allowed to be a little angry, as long as he doesn't break anything. But his actions still hurt. Colossus has cared for him always, but Wade never appreciates it or bothers to say 'thank you'. 

"Wade", Colossus starts but Wade quickly shuts him down.

"I am tired of this fucking shit. I'm leaving, once again. The next time you want to be my 'friend', maybe actually talk to me instead of just throwing me into some room and lock me in like a kidnap victim", he says and starts stomping out of the room. On his way, he pushes one statue down and it breaks into pieces. "It was already damaged after it fell there!" Wade yells before he disappears. Colossus looks sadly at the spot where Wade was sitting in just a minute ago. He crouches and puts his hand over the spot. It's still warm.

 

 

 

_2 weeks later_

 

 

 

Wade is finally able to move back into his apartment. Everything has been fixed and it's all free for him, which makes the man question how the government works. But he doesn't mind. If it's free, he takes it. Maybe some other fucker had to pay for it, which is just fine by him. Wade steps into the apartment and takes his time to look around and check if everything works. The kitchen is completely new, with a new microwave, fridge and dishwasher. He opens the fridge, only to find it's completely empty. At least the light is on. He closes it. He looks at the large empty space in his apartment and remembers that they had a bedroom and a living room in the same room. Well, the whole apartment was just a big room with a few closets. That's how cheaply they lived. But even if it was small, it still felt like home.

Wade looks out of the window. The glass has been replaced. He wants to jump through the glass and fall down onto the tarmac and break his bones. Wade decided to not jump, at least for now. He walks over to the nearest wall and presses his hand against it. It somehow feels cold. Even the floor feels cold and Wade is wearing shoes with fur inside them. 

He misses all the posters and pictures they had on the walls. He misses their king sized bed that they fucked in a lot and the old sofa with all the blankets and pillows. He misses those two chairs by the window and he misses all the other objects he used to have.

He has no memories of Vanessa. All of it burned down. He only has the Skee-ball token. Maybe it's better like this. Maybe he will get over her faster if he starts his life again without anything that reminds him of her.

Wade realizes he truly doesn't have anything. And now he is not talking about 'not having friends, family or anyone who cares about him' ... He literally has no furniture. He doesn't have food, clothes or even money. He has lost his wallet somewhere. Wade rubs the back of his head and presses his hand against the brick wall, considering moving together with Blind Al again. At least she has cocaine.

 

A door opens. Suddenly someone enters the apartment. The footsteps are loud and slow and they stop in the kitchen. Deadpool doesn't bother even turning around to greet the person, because he knows exactly who it is. No other than Colossus. Wade can't believe he actually recognizes the big man's footsteps. Fucking footsteps.

"You don't gotta do this. See? They fixed this shithole, so now you can leave me alone", Wade says quietly and presses his forehead against the wall, too. He hears a sigh.

Colossus just looks at Wade, inspecting him. He looks broken, exhausted. He has been wearing the same clothes for weeks. He smells dirty, like a homeless person. Colossus takes a deep breath and starts walking towards Wade slowly, collecting all of his courage. Wade gives no reaction. Colossus puts his hand down on Wade's shoulder and rubs it with his thumb.

"Wade", he says softly. "I am here to help."

Wilson chuckles. It sounds more like a sob than a laughter. "Again? When will you realize I am a hopeless cause? Helping me is like using a wheelchair as a taxi. Makes no fucking sense." 

Colossus makes a sad face after hearing those words. He grabs the man harder and turns him around, pressing Wade against the wall. Wade looks a little startled, but he looks up at Colossus. His eyes look sad, like he is about to cry. For a moment, Colossus just wants to hug and kiss Wade, but he bit his lips and plans a better approach. 

"I am not giving up on you", Colossus says strongly, moving closer to Wade, almost pressing their faces together. Wade lets out a defeated sigh and looks out of the window again. He sees a white van outside, or is it a moving truck? He suspects it's full of little kids. Colossus moves his hand over Wade's cheek and turns the man to look at him.

"And you are not alone", he continues. Colossus then moves away from Wade and whistles loudly.

"What are you - Oh, wow."

 

 

A group of young mutants start walking in, all of them carrying everything that makes any place a home. Two mutants are carrying shopping bags and they start loading food into the fridge. Food that Wade doesn't really like, but he decides to not complain. One mutant opens a door that takes to a small closet and they start folding clothes inside. Wade sees Negasonic Teenage Warhead with her girlfriend Yukio, both carrying plants. They wave at him and put the plants on the window sill. One silver haired mutant moves faster than light and starts building something next to Wade, and when he finally stops Wade sees a bed that is big enough to fit three people in it. More mutants come in and they put a mattress on the bed and start making the bed, throwing in pillows and blankets. Wade just stares at the young mutants, bringing in furniture and decorating the place for him. His mouth is open and he looks up at Colossus. Colossus smiles at him and moves his hand to Wade's lower back.

"We've got your back", he promises and turns to look at the mutants again. There is so many of them carrying things inside, all kinds of things that Wade needs and even things that Wade doesn't need, like toilet paper and a mop.

"Yeah, you've literally got my back", Wade jokes and looks at the hand that is placed way too near his ass. 

"But, why?" Wade asks slowly.

"Because I am your friend, Wade", Colossus says. "And friends support each other."

"And kill pedophiles together", Wade comments and he laughs at himself. He wipes the corner of his eyes, probably trying to hide the fact that he is touched by all this, and Colossus smiles brightly. He feels his heart fluttering and he feels like he has truly helped Wade. 

 

When the apartment doesn't look so empty anymore, all of the mutants stand around Wade with supportive smiles. Wade wonders how much money Colossus gave them to act so nice with him. Wade claps his hands together and is trying to think of a speech. Why does he have to give a speech? It's just awkward.

"Thank you all so much. I would buy all of you ice cream if I had any money or if I wanted to, but if you ever need anyone killed, call me. I'll get rid of your teachers who give too much homework", he says. Colossus sighs and he gently hits Wade onto his shoulder. "Ow, calm down, Metal ass, I'll be a good boy", Wilson says and Colossus feels hotter after those words. The young mutants are laughing and soon they are leaving, heading back to the mansion. The last people leaving are Negasonic and Yukio, who are talking to Colossus.

"You aren't coming?" Negasonic asks and ruffles her hand through her short black hair. Colossus shakes his head.

"I stay here, check on Wade. Go without me", he says like he is sacrificing himself for the greater good. Negasonic nods and looks at Wade. He has toilet paper in his hand for some reason and he is writing on it, god knows what. Negasonic leans closer to the metallic man.

"Good luck, Romeo", she says and winks her eye. Negasonic just knows that Colossus is in love, always commenting how obvious it was. Colossus raises his brows in surprise, but then gives a gentle smile back. He is bad at hiding his feelings.

"Bye, Douchepool!" Negasonic yells and Wade shows her a middle finger.

"Bye, skinny Lea DeLaria", he says and starts walking towards them. He rips one piece of toilet paper out and gives it to Negasonic, who just looks at it. Wade has written his number on the piece of toilet paper and drawn a little heart at the corner.

"My card, if you ever need me for superhero duties", Wade says. When Negasonic never takes his 'card', he forcefully tucks it into her leather jacket's pocket. Negasonic sighs and just lets it happen. Wade Wilson looks up at Yukio and waves at her.

"Hi, Yukio."

"Hi, Wade!" the girl says with a bright voice and waves back. After that, the girl couple is leaving and then it's just Wade and Colossus.

 

 

Colossus looks down at Wade. He is nervous and if he just could sweat, he would be sweaty all over, even in places that weren't supposed to sweat. Like the space between toes. Colossus feels somehow warm in his chest and he truly hopes that he has helped Wade Wilson feel at least a little bit better. Wade looks back up at him. The burn victim looks puzzled and he opens his mouth, but soon closes it. Colossus takes the hint. He knows they had a fight the last time they saw each other, and he knew very well how bad Wade was at apologizing. So he decided to let it go. Maybe Wade needed even more time to collect his thoughts.

"So", Colossus starts and he takes one step towards the front door. "I'll leave you be."

Wade grabs Colossus by the wrist and the metal man stops.

"Don't."

 

Colossus looks at Wade with wide eyes and he turns towards him. Wade is still holding onto his hand as tightly as he can, his head hanging low. The metallic man calls out for him quietly but no answer is heard. Colossus waits patiently, surrounded by sharp silence. Suddenly, Wade lets out a sob.

"Don't leave me 'be'. I - fuck, I shouldn't be alone", Wilson speaks up and he looks up at Colossus. His eyes are teary, his soul seems heavy. And his eyes are begging: 'hold me'.

Colossus wraps both of his arms around Wade and pulls him into a tight hug. Wade closes his eyes and he presses his head against the man's chest and moves his hands around the metallic man, holding onto him for dear life. Colossus hears Wade let out a sob, then another one. Soon Deadpool is actually crying, letting everything out. Colossus hates the sound of him crying and he just wishes he would be able to make Wade smile a little more. But no matter what he does, the two of them always end up fighting. He wished it wouldn't be like that. Colossus looks down at Wade with a sad expression.

"Wade, I am so sorry for your loss."

Colossus has said those words so many times, but only this time Wade actually listens. He wipes his nose and presses his forehead against the metal man's torso.

"I'm not crying because of Vanessa anymore", the burn victim says quietly. 

 

Colossus almost shakes from those words. He knows it's wrong, but his heart beats a little faster and he feels his whole body growing hotter. The metal man wonders if Vanessa is really history now. He suddenly feels thrilled, like a kid who is about to buy a game they have been looking for months. Colossus softly pulls Wade out of his embrace and places his hands on his shoulders. He looks down at Wade who is not meeting his gaze, and he moves his strong hand to cup Wade's cheek. Wade sobs against his hand, and sniffles his nose. Colossus lifts his head up and makes Wade look up at him. The scarred face is covered in tears as it looks up at Colossus with those sad puppy eyes and parted chapped lips. Colossus wipes some of his tears away and gives him a comforting smile as to tell 'It's OK', but his smile only lasts for a second. Wade swallows.

"I'm crying because - ugh", Wade coughs. "This is really gay but I miss being loved."

Colossus's eyes open a little wider, his heart beats a little faster. He strokes his thumb against Wade's cheek.

"And I've been a huge selfish prick to you", he mumbles out and closes his eyes, catching air into his lungs like he is drowning.

"It is alright, Wade", Colossus tries to comfort the man but Wade is shaking his head. His hands turn into fists and he bangs them against Colossus's chest and the man starts crying again. He is completely breaking down in front of the metallic man and soon, his legs are shaking so hard that he can't stand. Wade falls to the floor on his knees and Colossus follows him, kneeling in front of him and holding onto him tightly.

"I just - I", Wade tries to talk, but there is a lump in his throat and he feels like he is suffocating. He is grabbing tightly onto Colossus, his fingers wrapping around his vest the best they could.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill me. I can't go forward like this", Wilson sobs and he curls up into a ball, leaning against Colossus like he is a soft pillow. Colossus wraps his big arms around the smaller man and holds him close. He presses his chin against the top of Wade's head and strokes his cheek. 

"It's alright, Wade. I am here", Colossus says, almost as quietly as a whisper and he rubs his face gently against Wade's scalp. The man snuggles closer, like he is a cat and coughs again. He is trying to stop crying, but he doesn't seem to be able to stop the tears.

"I just feel so lost. It's like Dora the Explorer expect you have nothing to explore", Wade comments and he closes his eyes. Wilson leans against the silver man again, his other hand stroking Colossus's arm, inspecting the lines that curve around it. Colossus swallows.

"Life goes on, Wade. You will get through this", Colossus promises. He doesn't know what else to say to Wade. He wants to tell Wade that he is loved, but he is afraid his own crush to the man will be revealed. He wants to say that Wade will find another reason to keep living, but he wonders if Wade would only start crying more. Wade seems to be believing strictly that everything has been lost. The only thing Colossus could do was to just be there and support him. He holds the man close, swiping away his tears and calming him down. His other hand wrapped around Wade's waist, he tries to not get too flustered.

Wade seems to have calmed down, as he isn't crying so hard anymore. His breathing is calmer and his eyes are closed like he is almost sleeping. Colossus keeps stroking him, but now only with his thumbs. His thumb is stroking his side, which tickles Wade a little. Colossus's other thumb is moving over his cheek, wiping any tears away. Colossus is sure the man is sleeping, and he is just about to slowly move, pick the man into his arms and carry him to the bed, but Wade moves his head. He freezes. Colossus patiently waits for something to happen. He hears Wade swallow, then let out a deep breath.

"You're my best friend", Wade whispers almost silently, but Colossus hears it as clear as the day. He freezes completely. Colossus is once again freaking out over something small, and his heart almost jumps up to his throat and his hands shake a little.

"Bozhe moi", he says quietly in Russian. Wade doesn't bother asking what it meant. 

Finally, Colossus relaxes and he takes a deep breath, before he smiles. He waits for a few minutes, just watching and holding Wade close. Wilson almost seems to be asleep, once again. His eyes are closed, his lips parted just a little. He almost looks like a child. Colossus finds him so adorable and he smiles even brighter.

Bravely, Colossus plants a small kiss on Wade's head, savoring the moment for a few seconds before he moves away. Colossus feels so giggly inside and he wants to jump around, but Deadpool is still in his arms. Carefully, and dead slowly, he picks Wade into his arms and he walks towards the bed. He lays Wade Wilson down onto the mattress and puts him to bed, tugging him under the blanket. Wade mutters something that Colossus doesn't understand and he turns his back to the man. Colossus caresses the side of his head, before he finally draws himself away. For a moment, Colossus just looks at Wade's body, already sleeping and seeing dreams. Colossus finally decides to stop staring and he leaves as quietly as he can go, closing the door behind him.

 

 

Outside, it's raining, but Colossus doesn't bother hiding under a safe spot. He walks under the water, not bothered by its coldness. The scene around him is dark and watery, full of thunder that makes the street lighter for a moment before the flash of light disappears and it's dark again. Colossus smiles, then even laughs like a school girl and he starts walking faster.

 

 

"Milaya moya", Colossus says quietly to himself with a smile, holding his hand over his mouth for a moment before he tries to continue his trip to home normally.

 


	2. душа моя

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colossus waits a little longer before making an approach, but it seems like Wade is stepping in before him. Things escalate quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely did not use jokes from the internet for this chapter. I definitely made everything up by myself.  
> Thank you all for the comments, btw! Not just to this story, but every Colossus x Deadpool story I have written. You are all awesome !

_6 months after Vanessa's death_

 

 

 

Colossus almost feels lonely without Wade's presence.

It has been weeks since the last time he saw him. It has been almost two months since he actually talked to him. The night he comforted Wade was still a clear picture in his head that made him giggle like a little girl. But after that night, he had not talked to Wade almost at all. Every week, Colossus swore he could see Wade walking around the mansion, wearing his usual red suit that hid his burned skin. He always seemed to disappear when Colossus tried to approach him and talk to him. It made Colossus feel a little sad, making him think that the assassin was still avoiding him. But there were few times when he found Wade just relaxing, often reading comics upside down and having his feet on the table. At those times, Colossus wanted to go and talk to him, but he never really knew what to say. So, he secretly watched Wade Wilson do his own things behind the corner. At least like this he could keep an eye on Wade without him actually running away from him. A few times Colossus did enter the room, saying a quick 'hi', before pretending he was there to take something and then just leave. Every time Colossus entered the same room as Wade, his heart pounded a little harder.

Slowly, it seemed like Wade was now more comfortable being around the mansion. It made Colossus smile. He kept seeing Wade there a lot often, usually staying only for an hour or so before continuing his trip. And once again, Wade was in the kitchen, eating cereal that was not meant for him. It was late, the sun was setting down and the sky was turning orange. Colossus guessed the man was here to eat something before bed. He wondered if Wade had enough money for food.

This time, Colossus told himself to make a move. He hid behind the doorway, leaning against a wall and counting to ten. Then he counted to 30. Then, he realized he had made it all the way up to one hundred and two. Colossus cursed in his native language, before telling himself some encouraging words. With a quick move, the metal man entered the kitchen.

 

 

Wade turned to look at him and stopped eating his cereal and spread his arms wide open, like he wanted a hug from Colossus. The metallic man did his everything to hold himself back and not go hug him.

"Heyy, it's my favorite stalker! Wazzup", he says happily and puts his arms down and continues eating. Colossus blushes (even if you can't see it), and wonders if Wade had actually caught him watching the man. 

"Wade, how are you feeling?" Colossus asks with a gentle voice and walks over to one of the cabinets and opens it. He takes out one bowl and closes the cabinet door, then opens a drawer to get himself a silver spoon that looked a lot like him. Colossus's back is turned towards Wade and even if he can't see the man, he just knows Wade is smiling. He can clearly hear the crunching noise his mouth makes when he chews into his food and Colossus smiles. Wade seems to be eating healthily. Or at least he is eating.

"I feel like a useless piece of skin on a dick", he answered. Colossus bites his lip, as he immediately thinks about Wade's dick.

"And what is that useless piece?" the metal man asked as he turned to face Deadpool.

"A man."

 

Colossus actually laughs at that joke. He shakes his head and heads over to the counter, taking a seat next to Wade. "Come now, you are not useless", he promises the man and puts his bowl and spoon down. Colossus reaches for the cereal box, but Wilson grabs it faster and moves it away. 

"Wade", he mutters quietly and looks at the scarred face he so adored. It was almost weird how Colossus saw so much beauty in a face that had been completely ruined and burned. But Colossus had his own way of seeing things, and he was a positive person. He saw beauty in everything and everyone.

"C'mon, take it", Wade Wilson teases the man and shakes the cereal box. Colossus inches closer with his chair and reaches for the box, but Wade moves it away again.

"Fight me a little, you tin can wrestler", he urged him and Colossus smiled a little. 

"You are a child", Colossus comments and he moves to sit at the edge of his chair and leans in closer. He almost gets a hold of the cereal box, but Wade moves his hand farther away and towards the ceiling. He once again shakes it, and tells the man to try harder. Colossus leans in closer, reaching for the cereal box, sitting at the edge of his seat and stretching his body as long as it could go. Suddenly, he loses his balance and he is almost falling. Colossus's hand wraps around the other end of the box and he brings the cereal down against the table, Wade's hand following. The metallic man slams his other hand on top of Wade's thigh and gets his balance back in order. His legs are placed against the floor tightly, making sure Colossus doesn't slip accidentally and crush Wade. He lifts his head up and realizes that he is inches away from Wade's face. Their noses are almost touching and their bodies are almost crushing against each other. Their position is awkward and Wade Wilson looks startled. Colossus completely freezes. He has no idea what he should do. A part of him wants to lean in for a kiss, but he tells him that the moment is not right. First of all, their position is awkward as it could be. Second, Colossus is secretly a big romantic and he wants their first kiss to be romantic as possible. If he will ever be able to kiss Wade and his stupid face.

Wade's eyes are wide open and for long seconds, he just stares at the metal man. Colossus looks back at him with his nickel eyes and his lips part open softly. Everything feels so hot in his body and he just wants to lean in and kiss the other man. Suddenly, Wade's other hand moves and it places itself over Colossus's chest, right over the spot where his heart is. Colossus looks down at Wade's hand, then lifts his gaze up again. His heart is beating so strongly that he is sure Wade can feel it. Colossus looks into Wade's eyes, his face losing all emotion and his clever thoughts disappear. He completely forgets about everything else and he leans in -

"Are you gonna do something or pretend you're the Iceman?" 

Colossus moves away from Wade, his chair almost shaking under him as he apologizes in Russian and starts pouring cereal into his bowl. He tries to pretend that nothing had happened, but his face looks troubled. The metal man's whole body is stiff and almost shaking. Colossus can't believe that he had been that close to Wade. He can't stop thinking about where his hand was just seconds ago. He had touched Wade's thigh, and it had felt just amazing under his hand. Colossus wanted to touch it again, but held himself back. He can feel Wade just looking at him, thinking what just happened. Luckily, Wade doesn't comment on it. Colossus pours some milk over his cereal, ignoring how he spills it a little before he gets up with his cereal and starts leaving.

"Oi, silver balls", Wade calls out for him and Colossus stops at the doorway. He then turns around and sees Wade holding a spoon, waving it around. "You forgot your fork ... for soup."

Colossus sighs heavily and nervously walks back over to Wade. This time, Wade actually moves his hand closer to the metallic man and Colossus reaches for the spoon. But Wade slowly moves his hand away again, smirking widely.

"Wade", Colossus mutters.

"Okay, I won't move it away this time. Promise", he says and holds the spoon near his face. He spins it around a couple of times and Colossus reaches for it again. This time, he grabs the spoon, but as his fingers grab around the small cutlery, Wade moves his head close and he places a soft kiss against the metal man's wrist. Colossus shakes from that. He quickly takes the spoon, and without saying anything else, he turns around and leaves the kitchen. Wade Wilson is laughing a little.

When Colossus reaches his room, he quickly places his cereal on the night table and lays down onto his bed. He curls up to his side and hides is face. He even kicks his large legs around a few times. His heart is going crazy and his mind feels foggy. Colossus looks at his wrist, the spot where Wade had just kissed him. He places his own lips against the same spot, imagining he is giving a kiss to Wade. 

When he finally has collected himself, the cereal is soggy and soft, but he doesn't mind.

 

 

 

 

_7 months after Vanessa's death_

 

 

 

 

Colossus leaves the mansion to go on a mission. It's a small trip that only needs some cooling down so he decides to use one of the only cars he can fit inside of and drive to the location. The trip is short and Colossus finds himself in a small middle school. A small group of students and teachers are outside, staring at the building like it's a haunted house. Colossus steps out of the roofless red car and closes the door behind him and starts walking towards the teacher. He greets her with a smile, and the woman explains the situation quickly, pleading for help. Apparently, one of her students is a mutant and she has a hard time controlling her powers. It also appears that this is the first time something like this happens. 

Colossus is told where the classroom is and he steps inside the building. He gets on the second floor, turns left and enters the third room on his left. Colossus first knocks on the door, but as there is no answer, he twists the door knob and enters the room.

He is quite surprised of the sight. The metallic man sees a young girl sitting in a corner, but she is on the ceiling, hanging upside down with her feet hugged close to her chest. Her brown hair is hanging up - or down towards the floor - and she looks scared. Her eyes are puffy from crying and Colossus can see that she is shaking. Colossus looks around the room - the tables and chairs are not in straight order, like the mutant's classmates had ran away in fear and confusion. Books and backpacks are on the floor, but some of them are flying in the air. The lightest objects, like notebooks and pens, are floating in the air near the girl. It appears that the young girl cannot be affected by Earth's gravity. Colossus comes to the conclusion that something has triggered the girl's mutant powers, so he decides to start asking questions.

But first, he needs to calm her down.

"It is alright, I am here to help you", the metal man speaks slowly. He holds his hands up like someone is pointing a gun at him and takes a step closer. "What's your name?"

The girl doesn't answer. She looks confused and afraid, and Colossus wonders if his large form is scaring her. I mean, he is a man with metallic skin. And he is much larger than other men, he barely fit through the door. A kid who has just started using her powers must be very confused about everything that is going on around her. Colossus decides to approach her slowly and try to appear as a friend.

"I am like you. A mutant. Could you come down from there?" Colossus says and takes another step closer. The girl is shaking her head strongly and lets out another sob. Her whole face is red and she shuts her eyes. Colossus tries to calm her down, telling her that everything is under control. Colossus should have taken someone with him, someone who knows how to be with kids.

"Can you tell me what happened before you started flying?" the metal man tries to ask but the girl just cries a little harder. Colossus feels hopeless and he is ready to call for help, until -

 

 

"Holy shit balls, everything is up to the roof in here!"

 

 

Colossus turns around and sees Wade, dressed up in his red suit with katanas in his backside and a gun hanging from his belt. "Language", is the first thing Colossus finds himself saying, before he softly smiles at Wade. He isn't sure why Wade is here or how he knew Colossus would be there, but he feels somehow happy that Wade is there to help him. He knows that Deadpool can't really deal with kids either, but since it's Wade, his crush, Colossus is more than happy that the masked man is there with him.

"What are you doing here?" Colossus asks and Wade walks next to him, his hands on his hips.

"I saw you leaving the mansion, so I made Dopinder follow you like a stalker after its prey. Nice car by the way", Deadpool says to him and looks up at the mutant. Her crying has stopped, but she still looks scared and refuses to come down. Or maybe she just couldn't come down. 

"Wow, so what are we dealing with? Spider girl?" Deadpool asks. Colossus grunts at his comments, and gives him a soft punch against his side.

"Gravity. It is her first time", Colossus says. Wade Wilson looks at him and makes a disgusted face.

"That is inappropriate", he says and turns his eyes back to the girl. She is silently watching the two of them, still quite confused. "Let me deal with this", Wade says and moves closer to the girl who is still hanging in the roof, sitting in the corner like a spider web. Colossus moves his hand on top of Wade's shoulder and stops him. He loves him, but he knows that Deapdool has the habit of making things worse.

"Wade, I don't think you should -"

"Calm down, Silver Balls. I don't think you get the _gravity_ of the situation. Everything is just flying around!" Wade jokes and pushes the metal man's hand away. A giggle is heard. Deadpool turns to look back at the girl who hides her smile as quickly as it had come there. A long 'ooh' comes out of Wade's mouth.

"You like jokes, huh? Alright, I got a few more related to this issue", Wilson says and he slams his hands together and rubs them together for a moment. He looks around and sees a book flying around near him, so he grabs it and opens it. He pretends he is reading it, inspecting the letters like they are so very interesting, before he closes it and looks up to the girl.

"Oh, I didn't see you there. I was reading a great book on anti-gravity. I just can't put it down", he says. The girl sniffles her nose, but doesn't laugh. Wade lets go of the book and it doesn't fall to the floor, but starts floating in the air.

"See? Literally can't put it down", Wade comments and just watches the book fly towards the girl. And she giggles again. Colossus watches the two of them carefully, almost shocked. His mouth is hanging slightly open and his eyes are wide open. Colossus can't believe that Wade is actually doing something good for once.

"OK, I got more of where that came from", the masked man continues and he looks around. For some reason, there is a random banana moving in circles, probably someone's lunch, or something worse. Wade walks over to it and grabs it. He then goes back to the girl, this time moving a little closer. He warns her about a dirty joke that's gonna come out of him, but the girl just smiles and waits patiently for the joke.

"What did the banana say to the vibrator?" Wade asks. A very old-school joke, but it's the best Wade has at the moment. The girl shrugs, still not interested in saying anything. Wade looks at the banana and makes it shake with his hand. Soon, he changes his voice to a much higher one, pretending to be the banana as he says : "Why are _you_ shaking? He's about to eat ME!"

Wade is slamming the banana against his face like he is eating it, until the banana breaks and falls to the floor. It seems like the mutant's gravity powers are slowly shutting down. The girl laughs loudly and Colossus shakes his head at that inappropriate joke. But soon he smiles. He feels so proud of Wade for helping him out, and actually succeeding in it. Colossus has never seen Wade act this good with kids, so his heart is fluttering like he is a proud father. Seems like Deadpool can be X-Man material, after all.

Colossus just ends up thinking about the vibrator part a bit too hard, and he blushes. He tries to hide it and calm down.

 

Wade looks at the banana part that is still in his hand and he drops it to the floor. The banana falls, touches the ground but then starts hovering above the floor. He looks at the girl, who is wiping away her tears. Her face isn't so red anymore.

"Okay, everything is going to be alright. Would you like to come down from there?" he asks playfully. The girl bites her lip. "Oh c'mon, I promise I won't bite. I already ate my breakfast."

"Wade", Colossus says strictly as a warning, but decides to trust Wade to do his job. He folds his hands over his chest and watches the situation move on. The girl is playing with her shoelaces and looks up - or down? - at them, chewing her bottom lip.

"My friends think I am a freak", the young girl says silently and hugs her legs closer to her chest. Wade makes a sad face and Colossus wonders if he should step in. 

"Well, there is nothing wrong with being a little different, hun", Wade Wilson comforts her, placing his hands on his hips again. "Like Elvis said; I'm not trying to be sexy. It's just my way of expressing myself."

The girl lets out a giggle once again, but her face goes serious and pale again. Wade looks over at Colossus, who looks like he is in deep thought, inspecting their every movement. Wade looks down at his feet and sighs loudly.

 

"Okay, kiddo, look at me", he says and starts taking off his mask. Colossus reaches his arm towards Wade, about to stop him, but he ends up stopping himself. He lowers his arm and decides to watch what is going to happen. As Wade removes his mask and looks up at the girl, she makes a horrified, but a surprised sound. They end up looking at each other for a few seconds, until Wade closes his eyes and swallows.

"I am a freak. Because of this, I often have to hide it so people won't mistake me for Freddy Krueger", he says. _Another Freddy Krueger reference?_

"And look at this guy right here. Do you think he can walk outside without people giving him weird looks? No", Wade continues and points at Colossus. Colossus decides to not take his words too deep into his heart, and waits for Wade to finish his monologue. 

"What I am saying, is that everyone is a little different. A freak in their own way. But that doesn't mean that you are alone", Wilson says and he swallows, like he is doing his best to not crack a joke right now. The girl listens to him carefully, completely still. Wade turns his head towards Colossus and gives him a look that the metallic man has never seen. It felt like Wade's next words were directed to him, and nobody else. Colossus swallows and prepares himself.

"There are people who will accept your freaky parts and love them."

Colossus almost jumps from the word 'love', and he looks down on the floor, flustered. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but Colossus feels like he is going crazy. He turns his back towards Deadpool and slams his hand over his mouth, breathing heavily. Wade sighs and looks back up at the girl.

"I'm sure you will find new friends who will like your little gravity tricks", he continues and gives a comforting smile to the girl. The girl never says anything, but she gets on her knees and spreads her arms open, reaching for Wade. He moves his arms up too and pulls the girl away from the ceiling and takes her into his arms like she is his daughter. The thought of having a daughter makes Wade's heart ache, but only for a moment. As he turns around and starts walking out of the classroom with the girl in his arms, Colossus comes with him and he moves his hand to touch Wade's back again. Wade gives him a look, but doesn't comment anything. He just smiles, the usual weird smile white people make when you enter a room, and they leave the school building together.

 

 

 

\--

 

 

After the girl has been returned to her parents with instructions on what to do if she starts floating again, Colossus returns home. Wade left at some point with Dopinder, who was always driving him around and making references to all kinds of movie characters that murdered people with cold blood. Dopinder still had a dream.

Colossus decides to relax for the rest of the day. He takes a sketchbook and a pen and goes outside. He sits under one of the largest trees and leans against the hard wood. He opens the sketchbook and starts drawing what he sees in front of him. He draws the building wall and all the little details on it, before starting to draw the yard. He wishes he had color pencils, so he could draw the sky. It's a phenomenal evening. The sky was slowly turning dark, glowing in soft pink and purple colors, a few clouds taking over the sky and trying to hide the setting sun behind them. Colossus falls deep into his own thoughts, sketching the world around him peacefully.

He ends up thinking about Wade, of course. Colossus feels so bright inside knowing that Wade is healing. And not physically, since there is nothing his healing factory can't heal. Wade is healing emotionally. He doesn't seem so depressed, he is actually moving outside his apartment and he even seems to have improved as a human being. What happened today at the middle school surprised Colossus in a good way and he finally feels like that Vanessa is in the past and Wade has continued living. It hasn't even been a year, but people heal differently. And Wade was not like the other humans or mutants. He was unique in his own special way, and that's why Colossus loved him so much.

Colossus found himself smiling, as he continued drawing. It's quiet. Colossus doesn't see any mutants outside the building and he doesn't hear any passing cars or other sounds. He only hears how the soft wind blows the tree's leaves and branches around, making him feel almost cold. Luckily the sun was still shining against his metallic skin and the cold feeling disappeared immediately when the wind calmed down.

"What you doing?"

Colossus almost jumps as he hears someone talking to him. He looks in front of him, but sees no one. He looks left and right, then left again. He even looks behind himself but sees no one. 

"Up here, screw brain", Wade calls to him and Colossus looks up. Wade is sitting in one of the branches of the tree, looking down at him like some kind of a monkey.

"Wade?" Colossus says with a confused voice. "What are you doing?"

"I'm clearly climbing a tree", Wade Wilson answers.

"But why?"

"... No idea."

 

 

Colossus sighs and shakes his head. Once again Wade was acting like a child and Colossus was frustrated by it. But he also enjoyed Wade's playful nature, and he knows that Wade knew how to be serious too. Just like today when he took his mask off and helped that young girl come down.

"I'm coming down", Wade warned the man and started climbing down. Colossus moved his sketchbook and pen next to him and looked up at Wade. He was still wearing his suit, the red mask covering his face. Had Wade been spying on him, just like Colossus had spied on him? Colossus chuckled softly and watched Wade work his way down slowly. Soon, Wade found it hard to get down and he mumbled about needing help. Colossus wondered why the man didn't just jump down, since his healing factory could heal any sudden broken bones and fractures. Colossus sighs and he stands up and reaches for Wade. 

"I got you", he says and holds his hands open under the man. Wade looks down, then decides to just let go. Right on time Colossus catches him into his arms and holds tightly onto him. Wade immediately wraps his hands around the gigantic man and wiggles his legs around.

"My prince", Wade Wilson says, his eyes almost turning into hearts. Colossus swallows heavily and feels his heart speed up immediately. He wants to just kiss him, but decides to simply put Wade down onto the ground and sit down next to him. He leans against the tree again and takes out his sketchbook and continues drawing like nothing special had happened. On the outside, Colossus looks calm as always, but inside he is already burning up. He tries to calm his heart down and just tries to focus on sketching to get rid of all the sinful thoughts that are going around in his head. Wade watched Colossus carefully and leaned in closer to see what he was doing. 

 

 

"Didn't know you were an artist. Is this a reference to some movie I'm not a part of?" Wade asks and looks directly at the imaginary camera that only he can see. He then turns back to look at Colossus, who looks a little flustered. He doesn't answer Wade, only keeps drawing. But his hand is shaking and he messes up a line. He starts erasing the mistake and starts doing it again. Wade takes off his mask, holds tightly onto it with his hand and leans his head against the metal man's shoulder and Colossus stops completely. He feels like he is breaking apart from all the excitement that is taking over him. He curls his toes inside his shoes, his fingers pressing so hard against the pen that he is almost breaking it. Colossus suddenly feels so hot that he wants to undress himself. His breathing goes harder, his whole body goes still. Wade isn't even doing anything, he is just sitting next to him, and just from that Colossus wants so much more. Maybe it's because he thinks the sky is as beautiful as Wade's eyes, or the sun hits Wade's face just right. Maybe it's because no one else is around, and Colossus just wants to hold Wade and kiss him.

Wade Wilson looks closer and calls out to Colossus quietly. He inches closer to see the metal man's face, but Colossus shyly looks away. His eyes are closed, his breathing so heavy that Wade thinks Colossus is having some kind of an attack. Suddenly, the pen in his hand breaks in half and both of them are startled by it. Wade Wilson stares at the broken pen and the hand that is holding it. His face goes emotionless. 

"... That uncomfortable near me, huh?" Wade asks and he bites his lower lip. "I'll leave you be then."

 

Wade stands up and tries to walk away, but Colossus grabs his hand and refuses to let him leave. Wade is trying to break away, but he knows very well that Colossus is so strong that the only way for him to get out is to cut off his arm. And he doesn't want to go through that progress again.

"Wade, you got it all wrong", Colossus says, the tone of his voice almost angry. He gets up on his feet and holds tighter onto Wade's wrist. He pulls the burn victim closer, so he is standing right in front of Colossus. Wade looks angry and disappointed and sad, all at the same time. Colossus is not sure why he is acting like this all of a sudden. Wade's like a girl during her period, extremely moody and annoyed by everything.

"Yeah, I always got it all wrong, don't I?" he snarled at Colossus, who raises his brows. He lets go of Wade and just stands in front of him, speechless. Wade is truly acting like he has a stick up his ass.

"Why are you so uncomfortable around me? Am I that ugly? Do you really think I am as useless as subtitles during a silent film?" Wade asks, but Colossus doesn't answer. He doesn't know how. He quietly watches as Wade keeps talking to him, shouting at the metal man and waving his hands around angrily. Colossus doesn't listen at all, and it's the first time when he isn't listening to someone. He sadly watches Wade, just inspecting his facial features and the burned, scarred skin like it was the most beautiful thing ever.

"If you really hate me that much, you could at least say it, Terminator", Wade says and Colossus gives his attention to him again. He squints at Wade and clenches his hands into tight fists. He hates how Wade thinks that he is nothing and that nobody likes him, when it's clearly the opposite. 

"But no, you just have to pretend that you care for me, when in reality -"

 

Wade never gets to finish his sentence.

Colossus grabs him by the collar strongly and he pulls the man close to him. Colossus's right hand moves behind Wade's head and he brings their lips together, their teeth clacking against each other. Wade's eyes are wide open and he muffles into the kiss in surprise, but he doesn't push Colossus away or doesn't try to break away. He just lets it happen.

Colossus moves deep into the kiss, holding Wade still as he moves his lips hungrily over his. The metallic man is sure his whole body is heating up and his mind is foggy. He can't focus on anything else than the kiss and how it feels. He lets go of Wade's collar and moves that hand on his hips, bringing him closer. Wade is still unsure of what to do. Colossus moves his lips over his, tasting the man with such passion that he almost moans into the kiss.

Wade is moving his hands and they move to touch Colossus's arms, and when his clothed finger tips move over his metallic skin, Colossus suddenly realizes what he is doing and he breaks away from the kiss. He takes a step away from Wilson and just stares at him with wide eyes. Suddenly, Colossus doesn't feel so confident anymore. Wade Wilson is just staring at him with his mouth open and breathing heavilu. He is blinking rapidly, like he can't believe what has just happened. Colossus feels like he has made the biggest mistake of his life.

"What the hell was that?" Wade asks, completely out of breath. Colossus swallows nervously and finds his voice completely gone. He opens his mouth, but closes it again. He feels sick in his stomach. His hands and legs are both trembling under his weight. Colossus feels like he is dying and he quickly turns around and starts walking away from Wade without saying a word. Wade yells after him, telling Colossus to come back but the metal factory can't stop his legs from moving. Soon, he is even running. Colossus feels so weird inside. He can't stop thinking about the kiss, but his whole body is aching like he was infected by Wade's cancer. Colossus can't understand why he had kissed the man, and now he feels like he has ruined his friendship with Wade Wilson completely.

 

 

His soul was aching like hell.


	3. душа моя

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colossus decides to go talk to Wade and is ready to lose his friend. Instead, he gets a lover.

Colossus lays on his bed and he just stares at the ceiling. His heart is beating like he has been running for 10 hours straight. His legs are aching and burning, his muscles twisting everywhere in his body. He felt like he couldn't breath.

He had just confessed his feelings to Wade in the most dumbest way he could. He had just kissed Wade while the man was shouting at him. That's not how it was supposed to go. Colossus had planned everything out multiple times in multiple different versions - he first takes Wade out on a date, maybe to a nice restaurant, has a nice conversation, Wade gives no trouble and he walks the man home, leaving the man at his front door with a kiss ... Something straight out of a romantic movie only white straight people watched.

But now he had ruined it all.

Colossus slammed his hands over his face and cursed in Russian language. He knew he had just destroyed his friendship with Wade. For so long, he was completely happy by just dreaming about dating Wade and in real life being just his friend, but now ... He was sure Wade hated him.

Colossus turned to his side and curled up into a ball. He needed to think.

 

 

 

_8 months after Vanessa's death_

 

 

 

Colossus hasn't seen Deadpool after their kiss. The masked man no longer visited the mansion, which came as no surprise. Colossus knew that Wade was confused as hell about what he had done, but it was still a little disappointing that Wade didn't come to him first. The burn victim must be looking for explanation for this, right? Or maybe he didn't just care.

At the end of the day, Colossus realized that every day he was waiting for the masked man to come to him, only to find himself utterly disappointed. 

Finally, the metal man decided that it was time to stop hiding and step out in the light.

He started heading towards Wade's apartment.

 

 

\--

 

 

Colossus knocks on the door so heavily that it almost falls down. He waits patiently behind it, his hands folded over his chest. He hears nothing. Colossus even stops breathing so he could hear if someone was even inside. But the only thing he hears is silence. No sounds of the TV, no cutlery being washed, no sound of even air blowing around. It's deadly quiet. Colossus knocks again.

"Wade, I know you are in there", he says. It's a lie. Colossus has no idea if Wade is even home, but something just tells him that he is. Or maybe he hopes Wade is home. Colossus isn't sure if he can be this brave again, coming right to his doorstep to confess and explain. A part of him is telling him that Wilson isn't home, but he keeps thinking that Wade is inside, listening. He knows Wade and it wouldn't be the first time when the man is locked in his own house, refusing to talk to anyone. He knocks again. Still no answer.

"Wade, please", Colossus pleads. "Open the door."

He listens quietly, but hears no answer. No footsteps coming closer to the door. No sound of living. Colossus sighs and presses his hand against the door, his head hanging low.

"Wade, I want to explain what happened ... under that tree", his thick Russian accent rings through the whole floor and Colossus swallows. He presses his head against the door now. He finds himself breathing heavily. "Please, open. I don't -"

Colossus lifts his head up. "I don't wanna lose you."

He immediately starts thinking that Wade is once again trying to kill himself. He tries to open the door but it won't open. "Wade?" he calls out to him. Still no answer. The metal man feels panic rising inside his chest. Even if he knows very well that Wade can't die, he still can't risk it. Maybe Wade got one of those collars that take his power away, and he has shot himself or something. He can't let that happen. Colossus moves a few steps away from the door and prepares to run against it.

 

"Bitch I'm right here. Please don't break into my apartment."

 

 

Colossus turns to look to his right and sees Wade standing in the hallway, a clear white shopping bag in his hand. He's just staring at the metallic man like he was some kind of an idiot. And he kind of was. Colossus looks a little startled and he tries to say something, but he finds no words to explain himself. "What are you doing here?" Wade asks and walks towards the door. He takes out his keys from his pocket and flings them around his fingers before starting to unlock the door. He doesn't really look at Colossus into his eyes, but every now and then Wade Wilson is turning his head towards him as to check he was still there.

Colossus swallows deeply. "I just came to see you", he answers slowly and as Wade opens the door, he finally looks up at the metal man and looks him into his nickel eyes.

"Wanna come in?" Wilson asks and he enters his own apartment, leaving the door open as to show that he wanted Colossus to enter. Colossus sees that he doesn't have much choice. Wade clearly wants him to enter, so he does. He steps inside the apartment, careful to not hit his head and he closes the door behind them.

Wade's apartment is surprisingly clean. There were a few pizza boxes on the kitchen counter and some unwashed dishes but otherwise the place looked neat. Just some clothes in places they shouldn't be and a few beer cans on the floor, but nothing that showed crucial signs of depression. Wade starts unpacking his groceries into the fridge and Colossus inspects carefully what he has bought. He is not surprised to see some beers and all kinds of food you can heat up quickly enter the fridge, but Colossus doesn't comment. Wade is not the kind of person who eats vegetables anyway.

Wade Wilson offers him a beer, but Colossus refuses so the burn victim opens one for himself. He walks over to the comfortable chair that he has seated next to the window and lunges himself on it, taking a good position. He takes a slow sip from his drink and Colossus slowly walks towards him, trying to act cool.

"Sorry for acting like a moody teen. It was completely out of character", Wade says and he looks slowly at the imaginary camera, making eye contact with the audience. Colossus tilts his head in confusion, but detects that the words were meant for him so he decides to just accept the apology.

"It is alright, Wade. You were emotional for a reason", Colossus tries to comfort his friend. He inspects the man closely and it appears that Wade finally seems to be himself, after such a long time of being overly emotional, depressed and angry over small reasons.

"Take a seat", Wade almost orders, but Colossus only sees one place to sit, and he ends up taking a seat at the edge of the unmade bed. The mattress feels soft under him and the metal man does his best to avoid just falling on top of it and sleep. He somehow feels exhausted but awake at the same time. He plays with his metallic fingers and looks down at his feet, not knowing what to say. Wade notices this and decides to be the one who ends the awkward silence.

 

 

"You like me, huh?"

Those words make Colossus jump and he lifts his head up. He wants to say no, he wants to deny that, but the vivid memory of them kissing comes back to his mind. Denying his feelings would just be lying. And Colossus is not the kind who lies. Colossus lowers his head and he silently nods. Wade takes another sip from his bottle.

"Figures. Is it like pity liking or actual liking? Because I don't want anyone to pity over this avocado ass", Wilson comments and looks out of the window. It's getting dark and dark spots are taking over the concrete, a sign of incoming rainstorm. 

"It is ... more than 'liking' you", Colossus almost whispers and he looks at the burn victim with a sad, defeated expression. He is ready to be turned down, he is ready to lose a friend. He doesn't want to, but Colossus feels like that he has to. Wade turns to look at him slowly with a face full of confusion and disbelief.

"You mean you love me like Silva loves James Bond? Weird thigh caressing and other sexual movements that made the audience squirm in their seats?" Wade asks and he puts his bottle down onto the floor. Not the safest place for it to be, as it could fall down and leave a stain in the floor. Colossus just nods again and looks away. Wade looks confused, shocked and also surprised. "Since when?" he asks. Colossus swallows heavily and collect all of his courage to answer.

"For months. Maybe even years. It has been a long time", Colossus admits and he keeps playing with his fingers slowly, nervously. He is at the edge of a nervous breakdown. Colossus closes his eyes and awaits for the impact, prepared to leave this place with a broken heart. But Wade doesn't seem angry, or disappointed, or somehow disgusted. He actually shows no emotion, and Colossus has no idea what to expect from him. It makes everything much scarier than it already was.

Finally after a long moment of silence, Wade decides to open his mouth.

"I have noticed you eyeing on me like some ninja. And you treat me well, like a princess on a holiday. It would be wrong of me to say I don't feel the same way", the burn victim says quietly and he reaches for the bottle again, taking a heavy sip from it. 

"What?" Colossus mutters out in surprise and looks at the deadly assassin. Wade doesn't meet his gaze. He looks out of the window, the sky that is turning darker and the grey clouds that are taking over the city. It's about to rain soon. Wade drinks some more from his drink before turning to look at the giant metal man.

"Yeah, I have developed feelings for you too, or however you say it. No one has been so caring for me after, you know", Wade says, refusing to say Vanessa's name. Colossus wonders if it's a coping mechanism to get over her, pretending that Vanessa was never there to begin with. Wade puts his drink down once again and he stands up, turning towards the large X-man.

"What I am trying to say Colossus, is that .. after that kiss", Wade looks away and licks his lips like he is avoiding to crack a joke. "I realized that I don't want to continue being your friend."

Colossus looks at him with an empty look. Wade Wilson looks around, repeating his own words in his head carefully. "That came out wrong. And mean. But you got what I meant right?"

"Bozhe moi", Colossus breaths out. It feels like he is in a dream. He just looks at Wade who takes a careful step towards him. Colossus feels like that Wade is playing with his feelings now, somehow trying to crack a joke or play a prank as always, but Wade looked so serious. Colossus had no idea how he was supposed to react at all. But he decided to play it carefully. He had to make sure Wilson wasn't just teasing him. And most importantly, he had to know that Wade isn't using him as a replacement for Vanessa.

 

 

"Wade, I thought you only liked women", Colossus mutters out quickly when he sees the burn victim approaching him. Wade is coming closer to him, taking extremely slow and small steps like he was building up the tension. Wade chuckles at his words.

"You thought I groped you because I am straight? Nice detective skills, Sherlock", he comments. Colossus doesn't look too pleased with Wade's answer and the man rubs his forehead.

"Colossus, I don't wear my pride flag for fun. I am who I am. A mix of screaming pink, piss yellow and blue. Just like unicorn ice cream. Add a few cancer ribbons and the my pirate flag is done", Wade explained and inched a little closer to Colossus. Colossus wasn't so familiar with those pride flags, he only knew the rainbow one. But he came to the conclusion that Wade also liked men, and his flirting before had not been just teasing or something he did as a joke. It had been real.

Wade was suddenly standing right in front of Colossus and maybe for the first time Colossus was looking up at him, since he was sitting down on a low bed. Wade moved his hands to cup his cheeks and the metallic man found himself completely lost with words. Wade didn't say anything, or maybe he thought there was no need to say anything at all. Maybe the two of them were those kinds of couples who just happened - they don't really have an anniversary day, because their relationship just started without official statements. That's how love worked, anyway - it just happened. Maybe not at the best time in their life, maybe not between the right people, but it just happened. And right now, it only felt right.

Wilson leaned down to give a soft kiss to the metal man, and Colossus first froze completely. He was in light shock, almost shaking from the fact that this wasn't one of his dreams. But soon he melted and Colossus closed his eyes and answered the kiss, moving one of his own hands to cup Wade's cheek. 

It felt so calm and it was so quiet. It had started pouring rain outside, the hundreds of water drops hitting against the window, creating a fast beat. It was so dark in the apartment, but the dim light that came from some Christmas lights Wade had put above his bed gave the romantic mood they both graved for. Multiple minutes passed when they just kissed each other gently, hands moving around their hands and faces, sometimes even daring to go down for the neck. It tickled when Wade moved his fingers carefully against the side of his neck, and Colossus could not help but smile. His heart felt like it was going to explode.

 

 

Suddenly, Wade climbed onto his lap without breaking the kiss, probably wanting to get rid of the awkward standing position he had been in. Colossus was a little surprised by it, but he took the man into his embrace and kissed him deeper. His hands started traveling all around Wade's body - his back, chest and stomach, all the way down to his thighs. Wade's hand did the same, traveling everywhere he could reach. His hands mostly touched Colossus's neck and strong arms, but sometimes the hand went all the way down to his lower stomach, which made the metal man even twitch in excitement. Then, Wade had suddenly wrapped his hands around the metal man's wrist and guided his hand to his ass cheek. Colossus could feel his body heat up but without feeling afraid, he grabbed the man's ass roughly, getting Wade let out a soft moan against the kiss. Colossus swore he was going to go crazy like this.

It didn't take long before Wade had started grinding against him, trying to get some friction to his hardening member. He was either trying to grind against Colossus's leg or his stomach, but nothing ever seemed enough. He finally broke the kiss and caught some air into his lungs before he looked at Colossus with those eyes full of lust, but also love. The need to be loved.

"Fuck, Colossus, I want to do it", Wade said. "And by 'it', I mean I want to 'do the do'. And by that I mean -"

"Wade, I got it", the Russian mutant laughed out and he caressed the side of Wade's face, inspecting his facial features and all the scars that were so beautifully carved into his face. Colossus just found Wade so unique and beautiful that he could not stop looking. He smiled for a moment, but then it disappeared as he ended up thinking about Vanessa.

"Wade, are you sure about this?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah, my dick must be as red as the communist manifesto", Wade jokes out. 

"Wade.."

"Okay, okay, no more dumb jokes", Wade promises, but Colossus just knows the man can't keep that promise. Wade lets out a deep sigh. "I am sure about this."

"I do not want to be a replacement", Colossus insists and he looks at the burn victim strictly, trying to show that he was serious about this. He wanted Wade to understand that he truly cared for him, that Colossus truly was in love with him. He was not going to let his feelings to be played with. Wade shook his head strongly.

"No, no, I - I want you", he mumbles out, his voice stuttering strongly, like he had a hard time to not make a joke, or he was having a hard time showing his feelings. Colossus swore those words had some kind of an effect on him, because he wrapped his arms around the man strongly and mashed their lips together again like he couldn't hold back anymore. Wade answered the kiss with hunger, almost moaning against the kiss, trying to show the mutant he wanted more, right now. 

 

 

They broke away from the kiss and started undressing themselves and each other, quickly wanting to get a move on, too needy to go slowly anymore. They kicked off their shoes and pants and Colossus started ripping off Wade's shirt, almost tearing it apart. Wade Wilson undressed him too as quickly as possible, pulling off his vest with that weird red X on it. And when they both were nude, Colossus went to lie down on the bed and Wade climbed on top of him, smashing their lips together. 

Metal against skin, Wade started grinding against Colossus, their members flushed against each other. Wade felt so soft everywhere compared to him, and Colossus could not help but just touch the man everywhere he could reach. It didn't take long when Wade had already wrapped his arms around both of their cocks and Colossus muffled against his mouth. His hips jerked up for more contact and Colossus swore he could come right there and there. Wade broke away from the kiss and tried stroking the two of them together, but the size difference they had was just huge and it was easier said than done.

"Wow you are just ... colossal", Wade said with a smirk. "Wade, please", Colossus muttered, but he had to admit it was a good joke.

"Okay, lover boy, I'll get the lube. This lovemaking train has no brakes, then", Wade says and he quickly steps away from the bed and kneels down, reaching under the bed before coming back to the bed. Colossus laughed a little, but decided to not comment of the hiding place of his lube. 

Wade positioned himself again, his legs on both sides of Colossus as he took some lube into his hand and started spreading it first all over Colossus's member. He shook from that and Colossus let his head fall down onto the pillows, moving his hand over his eyes like he was shy to look down there. Wade presses his own cock against Colossus's large member and starts stroking both of them the best he can. It feels wet, thanks to the large amount of lube Wade had taken, and sometimes the lube kind of splurted in his hand, and they both laughed at it. 

Wade leans down for a kiss and Colossus answers it gladly, entering his own tongue into the kiss. The metallic man moves his other hand around the mattress until he finds the bottle of lube Wade had abandoned and grabs it. He wraps his arms behind Wade's back and takes some lube into his own hands, spreading it around his fingers. He then reaches to Wade's ass and presses one finger against the rim, moving it in teasing circles before he pushes the finger in. Wade's whole body tensed, and he muffles against the kiss, holding onto Colossus for dear life. Colossus moves his other hand to caress the man's backside, and he moves his hand up and down until Wade relaxes.

 

It took them a moment before Colossus was able to fit in another finger. Wade Wilson was breathing hard, his lower body completely tense and his muscles clenching around the metal man. But every time the feeling was somehow uncomfortable, Wade stroked the both of them, painfully slow, but yet so good that you wished to have more of it. Finally, Colossus was able to move his fingers and he started moving them in and out, going in a little deeper every time he entered. He could feel Wade tighten around him, and sometimes relax, then tighten again. 

Colossus swore he was going to crazy. His stomach was boiling, his heart beating so strongly, every body part of his almost shaking in anticipation. Colossus could not believe that he finally had Wade in his arms, holding him tightly, about to become his and his only. Colossus felt so happy that his heart, no, his whole body was fluttering and he wanted this moment to last forever.

Wade had stroked them a little faster, moaning into the kiss that they could not break away from, pleading for more. The moment Wade started grinding his hips against his metal hand, Colossus knew that he was ready.

Wilson took more lube into his hand and started stroking Colossus, for a moment just watching the metallic mutant whimper under him. "You look cute like this", Wade commented with a smile and circled his thumb over the head. Colossus is soft and hard, all at once, like a steel encased in velvet and it's the weirdest sensation Wade has ever experienced. Colossus is literally made out of metal yet his skin feels something that Wade wants to hold. It feels warm, cold, hard and soft, human and monstrous, everything at once, and Wade can't get enough of it.

 

"I'm ready", Wade almost whispers as he stops stroking the man and positions himself over his huge member. His both legs on his sides, Wade takes a hold of Colossus's member and guides it to his entrance and without much of a warning, Wade starts lowering himself on it. Colossus gasps for air, cursing in Russian and he slams both of his hands over his eyes, his back arching from the sensation. He can hear Wade moan, he can feel how he is trembling around his member and Colossus moves his hands to his hips, helping the burn victim take all of him. Thank god to Wade's healing factory if they accidentally broke themselves during this.

It takes a few slow minutes for Wade to take all of him, Colossus giving him encouraging words and caressing his body as to comfort him. And even if Wade is not sure he is ready for it, he starts moving up and down. He first lifts his hips high into the air so only Colossus's tip is inside him, then moves them slowly down until he is fully seated again. He continued this torture for minutes and Colossus is grabbing tightly into the meat Wade has on his hips, clenching his teeth together. Wade continues the torture that feels like hours, and suddenly he lifts himself so high that Colossus almost falls out of him and he slams himself down as hard as he can. Colossus almost chokes from that, biting into his knuckles so hard that it leaves marks against his metallic skin, thighs trembling under the assassin. 

Wade started riding the man, his breathing heavy, soft moans and grunts coming out whenever Colossus went in a little deeper. Colossus started caressing the man's body the best he could - his hands moved over Wade's torso, teasing those pudding nipples, before traveling down to his sides over to his ass. Colossus grabbed his buttocks, admiring how round they were, and started helping the man move up and down on his cock.

"F-fuck", Wade moaned out and he moves his hands over to his cock, stroking it extremely slowly, stretching and squeezing himself just the way he liked it. Colossus watched him, biting down onto his lip and trying to hold on just a little longer. But Wade was just too beautiful to look at, and the way he is showing off his body to Colossus just makes it harder for him to hold on a little longer. Colossus pulls Wade down and their lips crash together, and Colossus lifts his hips into the air. He starts moving them up and down quickly, slamming himself inside the burn victim again and again.

"Fuck, Colossus, that's the spot", Wade Wilson moans against his mouth, pressing their foreheads together as he catches air into his lungs, holding tightly onto Colossus so he doesn't fall down completely on top of him. Colossus keeps thrusting inside him, his metallic skin slapping against Wade's buttocks and thighs, the wet sound of all the lube smacking together filling the room with their moans. Colossus moves his hands all around Wade's body, touching his backside, twisting his nipples, pressing his chest. And he can't get enough.

Colossus starts thrusting as fast as he can, holding Wade still as he takes full control of the situation. He moves in and out, slamming himself deep inside the man, slamming that sweet spot that made Wade's legs shake. Wade started stroking himself faster.

"God, I love you", Wade shuttered out without even realizing. He wasn't sure if he even meant it, and knew it wasn't right to say it, but at that moment he could not help himself. It all felt just too good, and Wade felt himself growing closer. He started stroking his cock faster, moaning against Colossus's mouth as he kisses the man for a few seconds, before breaking away again to catch air.

Wade's confession - real or not - is what brings Colossus over the edge. "я люблю тебя", he moans out. It's pronounced 'ya lyublyu tebya', which translates to 'I love you'. And Colossus truly meant it. He came with shuddering breaths and moans, holding tightly onto Wade pulling him as close to him as possible. He cums, the feeling almost electrifying and Colossus feels his hips shaking strongly, grinding against the man as long as possible under the pleasure is just too overwhelming to handle anymore. Wade starts stroking himself quickly and as Colossus has finally slowed down and completely stopped, Wade was cumming over the metal man's stomach, groaning and hips shaking.

 

Wade moved next to the metallic man and they both just laid down there, not saying anything. Colossus felt overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions and he had no idea what he should do. His dirtiest dreams had just come true and he had no idea how to even react to it all. His heart was still beating strongly, even if he had calmed down from the ecstasy. Colossus feels so excited, so happy that he is finally next to the man he loves so much.

They look at each other without saying anything and both of them just smile.

 

Colossus believes he has finally found love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a bit long to get this done. I kind of lost my inspiration for it (because I stepped into another fandom lol), but I was still determined to finish it. Well, it is what it is. Deal with this crappy ending.
> 
> Psst, if there is any moment where I have accidentally called Colossus "Connor", please tell me, because I had to fix that mistake all the time while writing lmao

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it is I. Once again writing about this ship. You all must be wondering if I have a life. The answer is no.


End file.
